Delta S

I had my first OB appointment today in which I filled out paperwork, peed in a cup, had four (four!) vials of blood extracted from my unwilling left arm, discussed my past pregnancy and delivery, saw the embryo’s flickering little heartbeat and it measured at 8 weeks and 6 days. The funny thing is that my uterus measured bigger than it should be for just one 8w 6d baby. The NP (LOVE her; had her last time; she is plain awesome) searched around rather half-heartedly (in my opinion), declared though my bladder WAS full she didn’t think that alone was making me bigger, declined my offer to pee and then come back for more searching and scheduled me for another ultrasound in a few weeks. Discuss amongst yourselves. I’ve googled all kinds of phrases in the hopes of a more difinitive answer but alas, each pregnancy is different for each person. This I do know: last time I measured right on track the whole way through. I also can’t remember being this big (my tummy does stick out a little) this early last time, though I suppose I should look at past pictures to verify. Also, this is my second pregnancy so I’d expect to start to show earlier… but would that cause the NP to schedule another ultrasound? GAH. Did I mention Superman is praying for twins? Did I mention that I take full responsibility for the existance of my own baby sister due to my own fervant prayers? I certainly wouldn’t mind twins. Not at all! I just think it’s funny that the men in my husband’s family have married women who happen to ovulate twice. I very much doubt I’ve inherited any sort of genetic predisposition to twins.

We’ll see what happens.

I took two naps today and I’m enjoying a nearly full-strength burst of energy. Astoundingly, the baby took two naps as well.

She has figured out how to climb out of her pack and play, much to the dismay of our childcare provider. Her actual crib rails aren’t that much taller. I am quaking in my proverbial boots. No one prepared me for the CLIMBING!

Once it cools down a few more degrees (it’s 93 at 8:30 pm) I am going to turn the oven on for an hour (crazy, I know) and make banana bread. I’m telling you, I have energy! Maybe it’s because I can almost taste the freedom of being a stay at home mom, something I’ve wanted ever since I gave birth. I’m fortunate to be able to work part time for the past year but especially with this baby on the way there’s nothing I want more than to stay at home and raise my kids myself. I’m also fortunate to be able to do that. *crosses fingers that it works*

Even though I know it’s the right thing for me to do it certainly doesn’t come without some conflicted feelings. I love my paycheck job. I can see myself staying long and going far with the company if I didn’t have kids. It’s been difficult to watch as people who were hired after me have surpassed me and even flown to headquarters to become trainers (something I know was available to me if I had returned full time.) I am not the woman who lived and dreamed of having babies and staying at home. That wasn’t me growing up and it’s taken time to adjust. I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. The decision was easy but going through with it is tough.

It is a sacrifice, yes, but it’s well worth it. Well WELL worth it. I do not regret my decision in the slightest. Part of me feels like complaining, knowing the sheer amount of back-breaking, mind-numbing WORK it will be (and often unrecognized, unthanked) to be a stay at home mom but the rewards will be worth it. I’ll be indelibly imprinted into the earliest memories my children have (hopefully in a good way!) My paycheck will come in the form of sloppy kisses in the morning, snuggles in the afternoon and bathtime at night. I’ll also be paid in unspeakable messes (planned or not), blanket forts, potty-training and days that leave me wanting to scream while simultaneously pulling out my hair. But I’ll be there for every minute of it and I hope I can remember to enjoy it as it goes, however it goes.

Because I hear it goes quickly.

Well now that I can write about being pregnant I seem to have shockingly little to say. Pre-disclosure I had to keep myself from Twittering and blogging excessively about how exhausted I was and how every morning without fail I’d make myself breakfast and then promptly feel disgusted at the thought of eating it. That part is getting better. I wish I could say the same about the tiredness.

This single parent stuff is tough. Superman and I are both so ready for him to graduate and come home. He hasn’t spent more than two nights a week at home since JANUARY. That, folks, is a very long time. It’ll be strange to adjust to having him here every day again. Strange but lovely! The dogs might get to go on walks again! I’ll be able to run out on quick errands sans toddler! Not to mention all the husband/daddy time we’re eager to catch up on.

Fortunately he’s been getting more liberty nights as he closes in on graduation day. Tonight we’ll drive out and meet him for dinner.

Speaking of eating, my previously non-picky baby has decided to go on a food strike. I knew it was inevitable. I think she’s learning that she has control over what she puts in her mouth and she’s liking to be in control (which of us doesn’t?!?) I’m not making a big deal about it (her chubby little thighs can keep her going for quite a while) but I worry about nutrition. Fortunately she’ll eat eggs but all meat is a no go. Broccoli is good and so are peas and cheese. Juice is ALWAYS good (which is only offered at meal times) but she often decides to spit water out of her mouth as soon as she realizes that’s what it is. *inner scream* I plan to stick by my rules and when she gets hungry enough, she’ll eat what’s offered. She still drinks her bottles of milk/formula so that’s comforting.

In cute news she’s finally learned to nod her head yes and SAY yes. She’s been shaking her head no to indicate both ‘no’ and ‘yes’ (usually shakes her head no faster when she means yes) which is adorable and also makes it fun to pose questions to her. For example, “Are you the cutest baby in the whole world?” Frantic head shaking no. “Do you love Daddy more than you love Mommy?” No, no no no, Mom, no. And Uncle TAB’s favorite, “Is Aunt LL smarter than Uncle TAB?” No. No no no, says the baby.

Today she answered most of my questions with both no AND yes.

And since I do have to go to work tomorrow, I should bring this to a close.

This picture carries a significant message, but it might be difficult to read. I’ll let you try anyhow.

Did you get the message? For those of you with poor eyesight (my fault for the bad picture) or who are just plain impatient, I’ll tell you: Superbaby version 2.0 is scheduled for arrival at the end of January! Kem showed up to the Father’s Day BBQ wearing a ‘Big Sister’ shirt and the reactions were quite entertaining. =)

I don’t know if this is something to brag about or not:

62 As a 1930s wife, I am Superior Take the test!

I took the test intending to laugh at the results but can I now? I think I still will. We have a happy, loving marriage (usually) but it’s a far cry from what I imagine most marriages to have been in the 1930s. It’s a fun test to take, though. Give it a try and let me know how you rate!

This is one of my favorite places, even though the tree with the swing had to get cut down. There are still acres and acres of walnut trees and a few dogs of various ages to help explore.

I’ve been watching The Academy (for the LA Sheriff’s Department) on Hulu. Much of it is similar to what Superman has been through except Superman’s instruction and training is WAY better and more thorough, if you ask me. In a few instances I’m almost afraid for these recruits to go out and work as a Deputies. I’m well aware they can look up penal codes if they need to but when not a single recruit could answer a pop quiz question in the 12th week that asked them to define 415 PC I was somewhat appalled. Even I know that code. Superman learned it in the first or second week he was there! (It’s disturbing the peace.)

Makes me more and more glad that we’re with the CHP.

“The problem is not God’s unwillingness to communicate; the problem most of the time is our unwillingness to follow through. Because there’s a tendency on our part to say,

‘God, I want you to show me what you want me to do, so I can consider it. You know, God, I’ve got all these options. I’m really interested in what you think. If you were here what would you tell me to do and then I’ll kind of put that in my basket of options and I’ll consider it.

God does not give us direction for our consideration.”

- Andy Stanley

I should probably tell you that Superman got his area assignment on Friday. It was our number one choice and it is the closest office to us out of all the areas that had openings. Also, there was only one vacancy to fill at this office and out of 113 cadets they picked my husband to fill it. Talk about amazing! He’ll have a 45-minute commute with a bridge toll but I’ll happily take that instead of having to move.

He goes on a ride-along in his assigned area this Saturday. I can’t believe the end is already so near and boy am I ready for it to be over!

You know what is probably the greatest thing about having a kid (this week)?

This scenario has played out countless times. Superman and I are hugging in the kitchen, or snuggling on the couch when Kem notices us. As soon as she does she stops whatever she was doing (toddlers have strange to-do lists) and begins to laugh excitedly as she barrels down on us at top toddler speed. She attacks our legs, wrapping her chubby little baby arms around them, and looks up expectantly. She is completely confident that she will be included in the hugs and kisses. She’s not insecure or afraid; she is sure of her place in our arms and we are more than happy to place her there.

Talk about feeling full of love.

I hope she never questions or doubts our unconditional love for her. Things won’t be easy all the time but even in the challenging times I will never EVER EVER stop loving her, even a little bit.